Sad/Happy

Self Aware

My Crazy Hurts

I made this ecard today, this is a phrase I use frequently to describe how I'm feeling when I'm completely lost in craziness and it's so overwhelming that it hurts.

Chasing Zzzzz's

Can't seem to sleep tonight. I'm tired but restless. My mind is torturing me tonight. I missed a medication last night and I think it has caught up with me. I'm trapped by my ruthless intrusive thoughts that seem to never stop to even take a breathe. I know this is graphic but sometimes my thoughts drive me to the point of wanting to put an ice pick to my ear then take a hammer and pound it into my brain to get the voices and thoughts to stop. DON'T WORRY, I'm not seriously going to try that. My therapist talked to me about how I don't remember anything in my life really and how nothing really seems "real" as if everything I think back on is as if it were a movie...she said that's normal for a borderline. I detach from reality because when I am in reality I feel so intensely I can't handle it...it totally made sense to me. When I feel in the moment, I get completely overwhelmed and flooded with feelings that I don't know what to do with. Its so upsetting...I feel ridiculous. I don't want to talk about it. I'm done for now.

Silence???

This is so funny, because it's so true!!!